Fighting through endometriosis, cancer and stomas can be isolating for the strongest individuals - The Herts Advertiser spoke to two brilliant ladies who assure those affected "you are not alone".
Sam, 34, and Mel, 47, met at work in 2018. The women shared each other's company and plenty in common. What they did not realise was that their shared difficulties would pull them ever closer.
Since then, life has thrown everything at the 'friendswithstomas', but they have combined to become agony aunts for people in their shoes, promoting positivity to over 2,000 followers on Instagram.
Sam's story
For over 10 years, Sam, of Cheshunt, has been battling endometriosis. The illness she described as "never gone for good" was debilitating, leading to time off work and difficulties with fertility.
The 34-year-old faced another hurdle when she needed it least, after waking from an operation for a frozen pelvis in April 2024 with a stoma bag attached to her stomach.
"I just remember crying, I didn't know anything about it and how to live my life with this bag attached to me," she said.
Sam had 10cm of her bowel removed during the procedure and a temporary stoma created, known as an ileostomy.
The bag put her life "on hold", leaving her desperate for a reversal.
She told The Herts Advertiser how her negative experience swiftly became "eye-opening".
"I resented my bag, I hated it," she added. "Since starting the page however, I've realised that for others with Crohn's or IBS it can be a lifesaver."
She said to Mel "I don't know what I would've done without you, I had no idea how I was going to leave that hospital and cope with life."
Mel's story:
After back and forths with doctors for many months, Mel was convinced that she had a form of bowel cancer due to frequent symptoms.
The long-term St Albans resident said: "I was told that I was too young for bowel cancer and no family history, no weight loss or stomach pain. I had bloods done and they were fine."
In January 2022, the mother-of-two's concerns were finally confirmed, as she was diagnosed with rectal cancer - a diagnosis she kept low key due to the difficult timing of important exams.
Following four rounds of tough radiotherapy and chemotherapy over four months she got the news she needed.
"The tumour had shrunk and I had APR surgery (or a Barbie Butt), as the whole rectum is taken out and your bottom is sewn up allowing a new exit," said Mel.
"I was prepared for a permanent colostomy and this operation took seven hours leaving me in hospital for five nights before I was able to go home for my long recovery."
"My family and I laugh if it makes any noise because I go ‘oh that’s Freddy’."
Likewise at Sam’s work, colleagues joked with her about the "hidden disability".
"It was funny when we heard the stoma bag farting away"," Sam added.
Both women adopted a positive mindset and, after initial struggles, set up an invaluable Instagram page.
'Friendswithstomas' begins
From travelling abroad, to Q&A's and concert accessibility, the women have revealed all the tips and tricks to living with a stoma.
"Everyone is different," they agreed. "We are providing help based off our own experience as it can be really isolating. We sit here talking about it positively with a good outlook, that's why we're best friends."
Currently, Sam continues her work as a financial admin and wants the page to grow, "raising awareness" about stomas even though her's has been reversed.
"From our account you get reality, we’re not saying its all amazing but your life shouldn't be over," she said.
The former colleagues encourage anybody experiencing stomas, cancer, endometriosis or other illnesses to get in touch via their Instagram page at https://www.instagram.com/friendswithstomas/ or via email at friendswithstomas@outlook.com.
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